The Wig
by Everybody Lies1
Summary: When Micheal comes into the office with a new wig things get out of control.All of the members of the office exept Dwight start to get angry at Micheal for making fun of a super pop star, and devise a plan to get rid of it.My first story.Please rate.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own the office.**

**Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes.**

**Chapters will get much longer as story goes on so please do not be discouraged.**

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All was normal in the office or at least normal for this office and sound of the ringing of phones,scratching of pens, and ruffleing of paper filled the air. But the the boss of this office was nowhere to be seen. He had left about an hour ago stating that he had a special mission to do. Michael Scott or as some people would call moron was not exactly a normal person. But when he came back panting, red-faced, and holding a bag everyone was surprised.

"Michael!" exclaimed Pam, "What happened."

Dwight had ran up to Michael and was on his knees. "Michael tell me who did this to you I will get him. Tell me who he is and I will get him. Or her?"

"Dwight please," said Michael who had now caught his breath, "Like I would be beaten up by a girl."

"Okay the then who is he?"

"I did not get beaten up exactly and the peson may be a female but is not a girl."

"There's an in between for being beaten up and you beat up a women?" asked Jim.

"Well, no but yes but no but sort of. I will explain later. But I did it for a special reason. Which I will also share later. But it was well worth it.

"Why?" asked Dwight.

"Do you really want to know?"

"More then anything, Michael."

"BECAUSE I HAVE THIS!" yelled Michael holding up the bag he broght in as if it were a trophy.


	2. The Story

**I do not own The Office.**

**Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes and the short chapters.**

"What the hell is that, Micheal." Stanley said rather board.

"This Stanley the Manly is a wig."

"So wait your telling us that your so called special mission was to go to a wig shop and get that wig." Oscar said.

"Yes and no, you see I was at home enjoying a muffin when I suddenly remembered Wigs R US store was shipping in a new limited addition wig that was of someone very famous."

"So that doesn't explain why you look like that."announced Jim.

"Wait and listen my young cricket."

"I do believe it's young grasshopper."

"Jim please I am a black belt I know what I'm talking about."

'That's strange because I thought Dwight punched you twice a couple years ago."

"I did." agreed Dwight nodding his head.

"Hey we already discussed this." said Micheal.

"Sorry, Micheal." Dwight apologized.

"Now as I was saying the reason Jim that I look like this is because there was another who wanted the wig as well."

"Wow only one other person." said Jim.

"I know the other people must of not gotten the memo , as I was saying I was in the store just about to get the wig when I was hit by an old lady with her purse. She kept on hitting me with her purse until I knocked her into a table of wigs, left some money on the counter and ran."

Micheal, you pushed an old lady for a wig does corporate know about this." said Toby

"Toby you suck does your mother know about it."

"Any ways what is so special about that wig." Pam asked trying to change the subject."

"That is what I will tell you next."


	3. Special Connections

**Sorry about any spelling/grammer mistakes and the short chapters.**

**I do not own The Office.**

* * *

"This wig," said Micheal, "is a wig made out of hair of Micheal Jackson. And it is now in my possession now because I paid 500 dollars for it thanks to my friend Tod Packer whom used to be Micheal Jackson's old barber."

" Micheal you spent 500 dollars on a knock off that's even worse when you spent 450 dollars on Tiger Woods supposedly used water bottle." Toby said.

" No, Toby no you just don't have trust in people maybe why that is why you are divorced."

" Um, Micheal maybe he's right I mean maybe it is a knock off." said Phyllis.

"Yeah Micheal once for Mose's birthday party I gave him an Ozzy Osborne wig, but it was really made out of our donkey's hair. Not that there's any difference." Dwight agreed

"Awe you have a donkey they are like so cute." Kelly said

"Well actually I _had _a donkey. But one year the beat crop was bad so we-"

"No that's okay Dwight that's enough." Cut-ted off Jim.

" I want to know what Dwight did though."

"Nope no you don't. Any way Micheal do you really actually believe that that is made out of Micheal Jackson's hair." said Jim

"People please trust me. My name is Micheal so I have a special connection with Micheal Jackson."

"Micheal, I don't think that it works that way." Pam stated.

" Do you know what," said Micheal, "how do you know, how do you know, Pam. I mean Ryan he is young and talented and handsome just like Ryan Seacrest. And even you Pam are neat just like the Pam cooking none stick thing. So, I believe that my point has been proved so me and the wig are going to go and rehearse."

And with that Micheal walked into his Office and slammed the door closed. After that there was a few moments of silence until the music Thriller and Micheal's horrible voice, which ruined the wonderful song, filled the air.

Stanley threw down his pen, put his hands to his ears and said, "Oh my God."


	4. Zombies

**Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes and the short chapters.**

**I do not own The Office.**

**Plus RIP Micheal Jackson sorry if any one in this story is going to make fun of you.**

* * *

After two hours of very bad singing and loud music Micheal came out of his office with a red face with swet dripping off of it. He was breathing heavily but his face was filled with he managed to get a few word out in between his heavy breathing.

" Done....huff,huff...but...huff,huff....need...huff,huff....zombies."

"What?" asked Pam confused.

Micheal held up his hand to her while bending down and taking some deep breathes. After another minute of this he rose and said, " I need zombies."

"Ummmm?"

" Oh please Pam rotting people who have risen from the dead that eat people in all of those horror films with the gor and the violence."

" I know what zombies are it's just that zombies are not real."

" Of course they are Pam, you see it's people like you whom get eaten first by the zombies in the horror films. Now, Dwight where is the closest grave yard."

" 4 miles." said Dwight who had already looked it up on his computer.

" Okay you know what that is a crazy idea," said Jim, " Why don't you just calm down and tell us why you need zombies."

" Well Jim everyone knows that there are zombies in the music video Thriller." responded Micheal.

" No!'"broke in Oscar, " Your are just going to ruin a beautiful song by a wonderful artist."

" Oh, please Oscar I am going to make that song even better."

" No you won't!" exclaimed Meridith.

" You'll make it awful." cried Angel.

Then every one in the the office started all to talk at once.

" STOP!!" yelled Micheal, which caused every one to stop talking and stare at him.

" Conference room in five minutes." he said in a stressed voice because this was apparently not how he thought their reaction to this would be.


	5. The Circle of Truth

**I do not own the office.**

**Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes.**

**This chapter is rated a little bit Teen.**

* * *

When Micheal came into the conference room he was shaking his head.

" I would like to know why you do not like my Thriller idea." stated Micheal plain and clear.

Then as if on cue everyone started to talk again.

"Shuuuush!!" yelled Micheal.

Everyone stopped at once and tried to keep their mouths shut.

" I would like all of you to form a circle of truth." said Micheal.

" A what?" asked Kelly.

" A circle." said Micheal clearly stressed out.

" All right people come on let's make a circle now I don't want to see an _oval, _I want to see a _circle._" announced Dwight taking charge at once.

After a couple minute's of everyone scooting around and Dwight saying things like, " That's an _oval._" and "What are you doing Phyllis?!"they were all done.

" Okay," said Micheal, "I would like to have everyone of you express your opinion to me about this. No, I would like you all to give me your deepest thoughts and feelings as if I was God and you were confessing to me."

" Your not God." said Angela.

" Well just pretend that I am."

"No."

" Just,well... okay pretend that I am Jesus and you were confessing to me."

Angela just glared at him.

" Okay who's first? Oh, now how about Slim Jim. Back me up on this Jim, tell these guys here that thay are all wrong and they suck."

" Well, actually no. I agree with them and I think that you will screw up the song."

" That is the wrong answer and you are going to hell."

" You can't just do that Micheal, you don't know who is wrong or right." said Oscar.

" You my friend are going to hell too."

Before Oscar could say anything else Micheal already started talking again.

" Now let's see who is next..."

" Micheal, Micheal pick me." yelled Dwight raising his hand up high.

" Okay then Dwight."

" Hey that's not fair you skipped me" said Meridith.

" That's what she said. Now Dwight you may speak."

" Thank you Micheal. Now I agree with you I think that you would be awesome at the Thriller song probably even better than Micheal Jackson himself."

This caused an uproar. Then there was the earsplitting sound of a blow horn which caused everyone to stop.

" Just in case that happened again." said Dwight holding up the blow horn and then putting it in his jacket pocket.

" Much appreciated and you are going to heaven."

Next in the circle was Toby and Micheal just pointed at him and said "Hell."

Then it was Andy's turn. Micheal pointed at him and he began.

"Well, as you all know I am a singer just like M.J. and he is my idol. He taught me how to do high pitched notes." then he started doing them. " Do, Fa, La-"

" Stop it." Angela cutted off and Andy stopped but he still had more to say.

" And I do not appreciate you, Micheal, messing up the song."

That made Micheal crack.

" You now what people if you don't have anything nice to say to say anything at all. Dwight and I," Dwight jumped up and stood next to him, "will be making the song whether you like it or not. Come on Dwight let's go."

" Yeah you will all be sorry that you didn't think that Micheal doesn't have enough talent, but he does and I will help him make it to the stars."

And with that followed Micheal to his office and he shouted "Make it to the stars!" from his office and they slammed the door.


	6. Victoria's Secret

**I do not own The Office.**

**Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes.**

**This chapter is also rated a little bit teen.**

* * *

Everyone in the office was getting some of their work done dreading the moment when Micheal would put on Thriller. Meanwhile Micheal and Dwight were rehearsing in his office.

" Okay so we can't have any extra zombies it will just be me as a zombie and you screaming." said Micheal

" But Micheal do you really think that I can pull off being a women?" asked Dwight.

" I wouldn't of given you a job here at Dunder Mifflin if a didn't think that you could be a women, Dwight."

" Thank you Micheal that means a lot."

" Now all we need is some women stuff. It is time to go out shopping."

And they walked out into the office.

" Okay everybody Dwight and I will be gone for a little bit to do some important, er, things." announced Micheal.

" Pam where did you get that lip gloss from?" asked Dwight.

"Why?"

"Never mind." and they left.

* * *

_Later in the car_

" So Micheal were should we go."

" I believe Victoria's Secret and Wigs R. US."

" Awesome. Oh, Micheal take a left right here there's Victoria's Secret."

They pulled into the parking lot and went into the store greeted by some confused faces.

" Hello." said Micheal. " I am here for my friend." and he pointed at Dwight but they just gave him some more confused looks.

" First let's get some makeup. Aha here we go what kind of lip gloss do you want. Banana Splash, Glitter Girl, Lavender Lips, or Spicy Mango?" asked Micheal.

" Well I like Glitter Girl but I don't know it seems to flashy, but this is a special occasion so-"

" Hello how may I help you two gentlemen." asked a blond haired women who looked like she had way to many face lifts.

" Yes do you think that Glitter Girl is to flashy or do you think it's just enough sparkle because people have told me that I have a dull complexion."

" Ummm... I have to go." said the employee.

" Well how rude. I think that you should get that Dwight it's just enough sparkle."

" Great next we need some women clothes. I think that I need a dress that covers my shoulders because they are very broad."

" Wow! I think that I found your dress Dwight."

In Micheal's hand was a puke green dress with big roses every here and there and a big bow in the back.

" That is beautiful Micheal, what size do you think I am."

"I'd say a 14."

" Micheal I am not fat."

" It's only because they run small Dwight."

" Okay."

" I'd say that we have everything that we need here."

" Wait Micheal I still need a bra."

" Dwight, come on man, no."

" I think that I am a B cup."

" ... Just...God."

" How do you think this looks Micheal."

Dwight had the bra on him and was looking in a mirror.

" I don't know does it look like I'm trying to hard." asked Dwight.

Then the blond haired employee yelled " Pervert alert!"

" Oh, my God Dwight run this is the real thing, come on!"

So they both ran out of the store holding their items, Dwight still with his bra on, and they hopped into the car.

" OH MY GOD!!" yelled Micheal as he raced out of the parking lot on to the road.

" ARE THEY FOLLOWING US DWIGHT!! DO YOU SEE A HELICOPTER!!"

" No, no we're safe just make a couple of quick turns and we'll be fine."

" Why are you so calm have you done this before?"

" Maybe."

* * *


	7. Jim's Plan

**I do not own The Office.**

**Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes.**

* * *

While Micheal and Dwight were out shopping back at the office Jim was in thinking mode.

Then all of a sudden Jim sprang up from his desk and went to go talk to Pam.

" Hey, Pam I was thinking...."

" Oh, I know that look. That's the look you have whenever you want to do something nasty to Dwight."

" It's not nasty and if he wasn't who he was I wouldn't have to do stuff to him. But anyways this is not about Dwight." said Jim and he took an M&M out of the bowl on Pam's desk.

" Well, would it happen to be about Micheal's wig?"

" Absolutely." and he plopped the M&M in his mouth.

" Great. Now what do you have in mind."

" It's not going to be just us doing this, Pam. I want the whole office to get in on this."

Jim turned around and faced all of the employees.

" Um, attention everyone can I say something here."

Everyone turned and looked at him.

" Great. Now, we all know that Micheal is going to throw on his Thriller show, right."

" Your damn right that we do." called out Meridith.

" Well, I have a brilliant plan as to stop this show."

" Now how are you going to that Big Tuna, slap him with a tuna?" asked Andy.

" No, your all going to help me get rid of that wig."

" Me likey." said Andy.

" Okay so this is what is going to happen. Tomorrow morning at around 10:00, Andy your going to go out into the hallway saying that you need to get something, trip, and scream loudly. When Micheal asks what was that noise I'll say that Andy was ambushed in the hall by some gang members and sthat he needs to go save him. And knowing Dwight he'll probably go, too. While they're away I'll take the wig and go down to the bottom floor by the emergency stair case. While I'm down there I'll go outside and get in my car and go to the dump. While I'm there Pam will stall even more by saying that she saw the gang members from the window in the parking lot. Kelly and Creed I want you two to say that you need to get something from the ware house at 9:55 and then go down to the parking lot and hide in the bushes. When Pam, Micheal, Andy, and Dwight come to the parking I want you two to scream at the top of your lungs some gang member stuff. While your stalling him I'll be at the dump disposing of the wig. If you guys run out of stalling stuff before I come back then, Toby you can just talk to him about corporate and stuff to stall him even more. When Micheal comes back and asks where his wig is we'll say that the janitor came to tidy up a little bit and when he came out of the your office his bag was plumper than before he went in it."

" Wow. Now that is a plan." said Pam.

" But, do you think it will work." asked Oscar.

" Trust me I've done bigger stuff than this."

* * *


	8. Wigs R US

**I do not own The Office.**

**Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes.**

* * *

_Back to Micheal and Dwight._

" I think that we finally lost them, Dwight."

" I'll say you knocked over two mailboxes, ran three red lights, and almost killed an old lady. Not that she's going to live very long any way. She'll probably die in her sleep any day now."

" Dwight, please think happy thoughts no one needs a Mr. negativity in the seat next to them, and I clearly screamed watch out old bag out the window when I came near her."

" Sorry, Micheal, your right."

" Thank you, now our next and final stop is Wigs R US to get you a beautiful wig."

" Awesome, I've been looking forward to this part."

" And here it is." said Micheal as he turned right into the parking lot. In front of it was an old bricked building, with bars on the window, a hobo sleeping on a bench in front of it, and a large neon sign saying Wigs R US.

" Wow." said Dwight, " It's even better than I imagined."

" Yes, but listen Dwight I'm you know kinda wanted here because of me pushing down that old lady."

" Yeah you have like a thing against old lady's. First you push one and then you try to one one over. Did your grandmother ever beat you?"

" What? No Dwight. The point is I can't go back in this store so I brought these two walkie talkie's," and he took them out of his coat pockets, " so that we can communicate."

" Cool."

" Oh no! There's no batteries in them!" exclaimed Micheal.

" Well, I guess that we can always use our cell phone's."

Micheal did a big sigh and then said, " Fine." and Dwight entered the store.

In the store was a bald man with an eye patch over one eye at the cash register, two shelves filled with wigs, a table with a clearance sign, with about twenty wigs on it, and two very dirty mirrors hanging on the wall side by side. The room was bricked walls just like the outside and the shop smelled like rotting vegetables and fish. Then Dwight took out his cell phone and pressed a button then waited for Micheal to pick up ( of course he had Micheal on speed dial). Micheal answered after a couple of seconds.

" Okay Mi-," then Dwight took a look at the cashier," Miranda I'm in."

" Why did you call me Miranda?" asked Micheal on the phone.

" Just because."

" Okay then.... now do you see any wig that you like?"

" Hmm." and he examined the wigs on the clearance table but they all looked like they were chewed up by dogs next he moved on to the shelve's. " Hey Miranda what would you say about a pink wig?"

" No, that is too weird Dwight even for you."

" Then how about curly red wig?"

" Dwight this is Thriller not Annie."

" Oh! How about brown pigtails?"

" Perfect!"

" Good. I'll go by it then."

And Dwight walked up to the scary looking man and placed his cell phone with Micheal still on it on the counter.

" Hello sir I would like to purchase this wig."

" Who's it for." mumbled the man eyeing Dwight.

" Well... it's for my wife... my wife Miranda."

" Of course it is." and he rung up the wig and handed it to Dwight.

But then Micheal started to speak on the phone in the counter, " Dwight is that that creepy old dude at the cashier, doesn't he look like a retired pirate to you with his patch, but don't say anything bad about it he's really sensitive about it. That bonehead he-"

But Micheal didn't even have time to finish his sentence because Dwight snapped it shut and ran out of their wig in hand. When Dwight made it to the car he was all sweety and breathing hard.

" Dwight, why the hell do you look like that?"

Dwight didn't even answer he got into the car.

" Jeez," said Micheal eyeing him, " you look even worse then you did after Mose followed you to work and you had to chase him. But let's get back to the office work's almost over. Tommorow we'll rehearse in the morning, and put on the show at lunch. We'll have to get at work at 4:00 though. Are you still up for it?"

Dwight put his hand on Micheal's shoulder and said, " Your damn sure I am!"


	9. The Rehearsal

**I do not own The Office.**

**Sorry for any spelling/grammar.**

**RIP Micheal Jackson may your music touch and inspire many future generations.**

* * *

So Dwight and Micheal went back to the office and it had just turned 5:00 when they entered the office.

" We're back!" announced Micheal as they came in.

" And were the hell were you?" asked Stanley.

" Well, we were working at the soup kitchen and donating pens to the pen less."

" To the penless?" asked Toby, " Micheal there is no such thing."

" God, yes their is, Toby. Not everyone has enough money to buy fancy pens, and go to Costa Rica, and have an account on dating sites, like you. No, they spend their money on food, and water, and toilet paper, and magic sets, and gamecubes. Only the necessities."

" Then what's that in your hand?" asked Pam.

" Groceries." answered Dwight, and he and Micheal left in a hurry.

" Do you think what I think it is in those bags." asked Pam to Jim.

" Yup."

* * *

_The next day at 4:00 am._

Micheal met Dwight in the parking lot so early that it was still dark out and they walked into the building up to the office together. When they got to the office Micheal asked Dwight, " Do you have the stuff?"

" You bet I do." responded Dwight.

" Okay, good. I have my wig so let's get started."

" So, wait are we having a dress rehearsal?"

" That is a good idea but let's not, because I don't want to do your makeup again today."

" Yeah."

" I think that we should start it with us walking just talking then I just start singing and then when it comes to the part with the zombies I'll jump behind something and put on my zombie makeup that I got last night at iparty. Then I jump out and you start screaming and then you sit down on a chair horrified."

" Why would I just sit down and wait to be eaten, I'd kill you with my knife and stuff you back in your coffin."

" Dwight, please, for the sake of the movie. Know as I was saying, then I'll keep singing the song while dancing, then at the end I'll close in on you, you scream and then we take our bows."

" I am really excited about this, Micheal."

" Me too Dwight and I also took one of my button up shirts and spray painted it red so it would look like a red leather jacket."

" Cool."

" Now let's get started. Okay so I'll put my arm around you and let's start walking." and they did, " Now I'll start singing... _It's close to midnight and something evils lurking in the dark," _and Micheal sang up until the part where the zombies come out then he jumped behind a chair pretended to put on his make up. Then he jumped out and Dwight screamed and sat down in the chair pretending to be afraid and Micheal continued singing and dancing. He did the claws and all of the moves, " _Cause this is Thriller..."_and then att he end Micheal closed in on Dwight and he started screaming. " And cut!" yelled Micheal.

" That was awesome!" yelled Dwight.

" I know I could feel the music and everything. It was like Micheal Jackson himself possessed my body and helped me do this."

" That would be kind of freaky though."

" Yes, it would."

" So, what time is it, Micheal?"

He checked his watch, " Um, 4:15."

" What are we going to do to pass the time."

" Well, we could always rehearse again but..... let's watch t.v.!"

" I'll go get the popcorn."

" Dwight, only give me two cups of butter instead of three," Micheal yelled after him, " I'm trying to cut back on it."


	10. In Action

**Please do not steal my ideas.**

**I do not own The Office.**

**Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes.**

* * *

At around 9:00 people started coming into the office and by then Micheal and Dwight were both at their desks stuffed with popcorn and when Micheal saw that everyone arrived he immediately regained his energy and went out of his office to make an announcement.

"Okay everybody just so you all know me and Dwight are going to do the show at lunchtime so you have food and entertainment."

"Or so that we can trow are food at you." said Meridith.

"No, that is not trust me everybody it's gonna be great." and with that he went back into his office.

"Remember," said Jim, "the plan.

After fifty-five minutes at 9:55 exactly Kelly and Creed went to go talk to Micheal and they knocked on his door.

"Come in." called Micheal, "Ah, now have you come to wish me good luck?"

"No," said Kelly, "We were just asking if it was all right that Creed and I go to the warehouse to get something."

"Get what?" asked Micheal.

"Stuff." responded Creed.

"Why?"

"Long story, bye." and they left.

They made it down to the parking lot and jumped into the bushes by the building.

Back at the office when it turned 10:00 Andy walked out of the office saying he needed to get something to everyone while he walked about two seconds later a scream was heard.

"What the hell was that?!" asked Micheal when he ran into the room.

"Didn't you know Micheal?", answered Jim, "Two gang members just ambushed Andy out of no where!'

"Oh my God I need to go save him!" cried Micheal and he rushed out of the office.

"Wait, Micheal, it's too dangerous let me help you." yelled Dwight and he ran after Micheal.

Jim smiled to himself, how typical. "Okay everybody I'll dispose of the wig now." announced Jim and he grabbed the wig and rushed down the emergency staircase to his Andy was holding up his part of the plan perfectly.

"Where are they." yelled Dwight as he and Micheal reached Andy.

"Oooohhh." groaned Andy.

'Are you okay Andy?" asked Micheal on his knees next to Andy.

"Only remember two big dudes pain and blackness." he shivered, "So much blackness. No,no, now I see a light." and he reached his hand upwards.

"Damnit, Andy, don't do this to me!"

Then Pam appeared "Hey, out the window I saw two scary guys in the parking lot is that them?"

"I think it is!" exclaimed Dwight, "Come on let's go get them Micheal, and let's bring andy too so he can get his revenge."

" How are we supposed to bring him to the parking lot?" asked Micheal.

"We carry him."

"What? Dwight that's stupid.... actually that may just work."

So Dwight,Micheal, and Pam carried Andy down to the parking lot and when they got their Jim's car was gone but thankfully Micheal and Dwight didn't notice.

"So where are they?" asked Micheal. And then just as he said that weird noises started to fill the ait, thanks to Kelly and Creed.

"Yo,yo,yo,yippidy yi yoyo.", " I'm gangsta mon yep I am.", "Your all *#$*%* and #$*&*&% you &*$#, %*$#, and a can of soup. ( sensered out for your own good.)

"I hear them but I don't see them!" exclaimed Dwight.

"That's it!" yelled Micheal, " Run for cover!" and they picked up Andy and hurried inside there they were greeted by Toby." Oh, God not him!"

"You know Micheal you should really stop this it's not safe, and you need to sign the forms I gave you there..." out of the corner of Toby's eye he could see Jim's car pull into the parking lot.

"I don't care, Toby nobody does!"

"but you know Micheal that..." Jim got out of his car and was now heading for the emergency staircase door.

"Shut it, Toby your sickening the injured." Jim was now rushing up the stairs as fast as he could.

"Micheal you know that I-"

"That's it we're going!" and the three of them carried Andy up to the office.

"When they got there everyone was just sitting at their desk doing their work and Kelly and Creed arrived saying that they didn't find what they needed. Andy crawled back over to his desk, Pam sat down at hers, and Dwight sat down at his.

"Ewe." said Dwight sniffing, "What is that smell."

"New calone." said Jim.

"What did you pay for it two nickels?"

Jim smiled he knew that it was only a matter of time until they found out that the wig was missing.


	11. Missing

**Hey everybody, sorry for not posting any new chapters in a while I've been really busy,enjoy!**

**I do not own The Office.**

**Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes.**

* * *

Meanwhile in Micheal's office he couldn't get any work done because he was so excited about doing Thriller. He paced back and forth,he sent prank emails to Ryan, and he sighed for about an hour and a when it turned 12:00 Michael new it was lept up from his chair and went over to the bag on his table and reached into it expecting to feel hairiness. But he didn't so he looked in the bag to see then it hit him smack in face. The wig was MISSING.

"Oh, my God!" screamed Michael, "Where is it!" he ran out into the office. "It's gone!"

"What?!What do you mean, Micheal." asked a confused Dwight.

"You heard me it's gone!Gone!"

"Whoa, Micheal calm down." said Jim stepping in, "When was the last time that you saw it."

"In a bag on a table in my office."

"Hmm." said Jim scratching his chin and winking at Pam when Michael wasn't looking, "Let me see..ah, when you,Pam,Dwight,and Andy were gone the janitor came up here to tidy said that he was looking for a cleaned all around and when he came out of your office I think that his trash bag was bigger than when he came into it.

"Then there is only one thing to do."

"No,no there is nothing to do."

"I must look in the dump."

"Michael, don't do that come on."

"I must get that wig back, Jim."

"And I'll help him." said Dwight and jumped up next to Michael.

"Okay listen, don't go there and make a fool out of your self Toby has already called corporate saying that you've gone out twice already and your bound to get in trouble if you leave again."

"Damnit, must you ruin everyone's lives."

"Micheal I-" started Toby.

" I can't leave this building again. So there is only one thing to do, me and Dwight must confront the janitor."

"Yeah!He'll have an accident." said Dwight.

"No, he will not because you two will not bother the janitor." said Jim.

"Come on Jim it's obvious that he took probably saw it and then wanted it for himself. I will just ask him a few questions if he refuses to answer than we give it to him , we're going to beat him, then fry him,then chop him, and in the end he'll be nothing but fried chicken."

"Mmm, chicken." said Kevin.

"Michael do you really want to be taken away by security?" asked Jim.

"If it gets me my wig back than yes."

"And I'd proudly be taken away by security with have worked to hard to have it all thrown away by some Mexican that get's paid like four cents an hour."

"Um, excuse me?" asked Oscar.

"Your right three cents an hour."

"Well on that note me and Dwight are you see us next we will be carried away but with a wig."

And they left.

This was not working out as Jim had planned.


	12. Confronting Jerry

**I do not own The Office.**

**Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes.**

* * *

Michael and Dwight stormed down to the janitor's office, and they arrived to an old chipped door with "Jerry" on it.

"Okay so I'll threaten him and accuse him some nasty names to like uh, the nasty ..who...and...never mind. Are you ready for this." asked Michael?

"Michael, I was born to do this." answered Dwight.

They opened the door and went were greeted by and old looking man smoking a cigar with a bottle of beer on his desk. There was a moldy mop in the corner along with a bucket of brown water. And over the walls there were posters of women, way to young for this guy, in bikini's. To finish it off there was a picture of a young man from around the forties holding up a boxing trophie on the desk with dust all over it.

"I think you two fellas have the wrong room. Couples counciling is right around the corner." said the old man who had a hoarse but chilling voice.

"Your the janitor?" asked Michael.

"No I just carry around a mop so I can hit people I don't like."

"Save it for jail cause your going to be locked up for life."

"Hey I didn't do nothing.I haven't been charged for a crime since 1998, and anyone could've smashed up that car."

"No,no,no. All I hear is lies. You stool my wig while cleaning around for some extra money. I also believe that a few months back you stool my lucky yoyo.

"I don't know what the hell you are talking about! Now get out of here before I take my mop and stick it up your ass."

"Don't talk to Michael like that! You should respect for a hard working, successful man, who has a huge musical talent!" Dwight threatened.

"Talent?You want to know what talent is?" and he took the picture off his desk and wiped the dust off of it."This was me in 1942.I was on top of the world, at the peak of my carreer. Three times in a row I won the boxing championship, three times. Then one day I had a big fight. It was against Big Daddy. He was as large as boxers would come. He smacked me down and while I was on the ground he jumped on top of me.I stayed down there for two long and by the time I got up Big Daddy had already won. He crushed my hand . Back then there wasn't all of this technology like today so they had to remove my hand. I never boxed again."

By now Michael and Dwight were looking down at the ground.

Michael rose to speak, "Hey man, I'm like so sorry about this and your hand.I mean wow.I wonder what I would do if I ever lost my hand. It would me just terrible."

"You never thought about getting one of those fake hands like Luke Skywalker did?" asked Dwight.

The janitor shot him a bad look. "You think I would if I could afford to? But I'm not that desperate for money to go cleaning around like that."

"Wait let me see where your hand is missing."

"Come on Dwight, would you like it if I cut off your leg than showed everyone it."

"Actualy Michael I'dve died by the time you've finished showing everybody. And you'd really cut off my leg."

"Enough, get out of here. Just leave me so I can drink away the bad memories." said Jerry

"Come on Dwight let's go." said Michael and they left.

Jerry smiled to himself. It was just a picture of some old boxer and a made up story. But he really didn't steal the wig. He didn't even know the nut case had a wig. Jerry only told the story because he really did steal the yoyo.


	13. Thinking things over

**I do not own The Office.**

**Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes and for not updating in so long.**

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Michael was furious as he and Dwight both marched up the stairs in anger.

"_How," _thought Michael, _"How could they_ _do this to me? I've only loved them and treasured them like a father would and then here we are one of those disgusting people have stolen my wig. Could it be Creed? He seems like a messed up old man. Maybe Meredith?She has been known to be the drinker of drinks. And then there's Kevin he's so bald. He probably took the wig so that he could were it out at night clubbing to get back into the dating scene. It could even be disgusting, miserable Toby. It could be anyone of them and they will tell me. I will get the truth. _

Meanwhile next to Michael Dwight was clomping up the stairs thinking his own thing too_. " I always knew that those people were no good. I could tell it by their eyes but it's obvious who did it. It was Jim! He's always making things horrible. Could also be Andy, I suppose, he seemed really defensive of Michael Jackson. Or it could be Pam, or Kelly, or Stanley, or Phyllis, or Oscar, or..."_

Up in the office Jim was very nervous, _"I hope that they don't find out I did I would have to hear Dwight ranting on about how untrustworthy I was and he'd send a memo out to everyone saying not to trust me or something stupid like that. And then there's 'Micheal he's been known to make some pretty rash decisions about things like this. I hope he doesn't do the whole your fired then again. David Wallace wouldn't want to let me go. But Micheal has been working here for a long time. I don't know._

Pam was not as worried as Jim, _I think that this really worked out well. I mean I was pretty good at acting if I don't say so only Mrs. Croci could see me she would rethink about not making me Dorthy for the play and instead making me one of the munchkins. I'm waaay more talented than mean Rebecca Tilli."_

Andy was really happy and he was daydreaming, "Megan Fox, yes, I am that guy who totally fooled his boss and yes you-"

"Andy?" asked Phyllis. "What in the world are you talking about? Did you watch more porn on your phone."

"Wait, wait?Did I say oh..uh...what do you mean Phyllis?"

"You know what I mean."

"No I don't know what you mean and Megan Fox is not porn. Wait? Damnit!"

Phyllis just rolled her eyes. _"George Clooney is the way to go."_

Even Creed and Kelly were thinking things. _"Oh my God!Oh my God!What if Michael finds out what me and Creed did it would be like so scary!_

Creed thinking, "_Wow I wonder what that was that I ate for breakfast I'm getting a massive heart burn."_

Kelly thinking, _"I wonder how Creed is doing he's like so sensitive and I think that gang thing really shook him up."_

_"I wonder if that was raw chicken I ate?Stupid chickens they should all be killed for amusement."_

_"Wow I'm like getting the jitters."_

_"Man!If you can't get good food out of a dumpster where can you get it!"_

Michael and Dwight had finally made it up to the door leading to the both walked in with angrily.

"Hey Dwight," said Michael in a southern accent.

"Yeah Sheriff Michael?" responded Dwight in an accent too.

"Yah ready to catch up some varmints?"

"Yesiree!"

Jim could sense a massive headache coming on.


	14. Accusations

**I do not own The Office.**

**Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes.**

**I've finally updated twice over this Columbus day weekend. And it has been a while. But just as a warning I might or might not update in a while. So enjoy!**

**_________________________________________**

"Now who here stole my wig. Who stole it." said Michael now back in his normal voice.

"Nobody stole it, Michael. Honest." said Pam.

"An unlikely story, now lets see who wouldn't lie to their boss..." and Michael went up to Andy, "So Andy did anything interesting today."

"Well, no,...I well I," stuttered Andy as he started to sweat.

"You," said Michael up in his face.

"I..I" Andy was frantically trying to think of something and then it came to him, "I got attacked my gang members remember. You came and, hey Dwight was there too. Remember. Good times, good times. Well except for the part about me getting attacked by gang members, that was not pleasant. I mean who likes that?" Andy did a nervous smile.

Michael just nodded his head still suspicious and went over to Oscar. Andy let out a big sigh and wiped his forehead, while and Jim and Pam just stared at him. "What" mouthed Andy to them.

"Oscar," said Michael now next to him what about you, "Anything happen to you on this wonderful day? Did you meet any new guys?" and he put his arm around Oscar.

"Michael this is making me incomprable, please stop."

"Why would you rather I sit on your lap while you tell me that you stole my wig?"

"Toby!" shouted Oscar.

"Michael," said Toby now standing up, "Please its just a stupid wig and you really don't need another complaint against yourself."

"Really Toby, said Michael walking toward Toby, "Is that so. Well I might just have to put a complaint against you for stealing my wig."

"Michael really, why would I?"

"Because your you,Toby, because your you. Your always ruining my fun. I'll be like, 'hey gang want to do something fun' and then you'll be like 'blah blah no blah blah rules blah blah corporate.'"

"Michael really don't do this, I think that you just need to calm down."

"NO I THINK THAT YOUR THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO CALM DOWN! WHO STOLE MY WIG!"

Jim who was frozen in his seat now snapped out of it and decided to take charge. "Hey Michael," said Jim now at his feet, "I really think that you just need to calm down. Lets not just go accusing everyone out of the blue. Now I want you to tell us what happened."

" Okay Jim I'll tell you. It seems like the only people in this office that I can trust anymore is you,Pam, and especially Ryan," Ryan made a face, " I mean Jim how-. Wait a minute where's Dwight?"

" I'm right here Michael," said Dwight as he jumped up from under his desk, "Sometimes I go down there to think. But anyways I've come up with an idea to find out who took the wig. There's security cameras, right? In the lobby and outside the building, even some in the hallways. We could use the tape to find out who took the wig."

Michael's face lit up, "Then a'huntin we shall go!"

Everyones faces went white but especially Jim's.


	15. Howl

**I do not own the office.**

**Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes**

* * *

Michael and Dwight had both left to go check the tapes and Jim was not sure what to do. He just sat at his desk with his head in his hands.

" This is it," said Creed, " We're going to be thrown into the slammer. But I will see Old Eddy and Musty Harry again, though."

"What!? Jail!?" exclaimed Kelly, " Stripes are so out of fashion and as is orange. I would never be caught dead wearing something like that."

Phyllis looked down at her orange striped shirt.

" Well, we might be caught dead," said Andy, " Dwight once showed me his collection of knives and told me what each one was used for."

" Come on, it's not that bad," said Pam, " I mean it's only a wig."

" That's easy for you to say," said Meridith, " He's obviously going to keep you because of your looks."

" Then maybe there is hope", cried Andy dusting himself of.

Stanley chuckled while doing his work and shuck his head.

" Why are you laughing," asked Andy sharply.

" The day your good looking is the day that I will go on a diet. I'd rather die fat and happy rather than lean and having a sad soul."

" Okay, now why are we off topic," asked Pam, " What about Michael?"

" I say we hit them both in the head, and throw them out in the woods," said Creed nodding his head, " Worked in college."

" Honestly," said Toby, " No matter how much David Wallace likes Michael he's not going to allow him to fire all of these people. He knows that Michael can get a little out of hand sometimes but I'm sure he'll calm down."

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_At the front desk._

"Hey you." said Michael to a man at the desk. Show me were the security tapes are I'm trying to catch a crook."

But the man did the seem to here instead he was bobbing his head up and down.

" Let me handle this Michael. We...want....secur-ity tapes..... were?"

" Dwight god damn it he speaks English he just has earplugs in his ears. He's listening to his ipod."

"Oh, well in that case," and Dwight pulled the earphones out of the man's ears.

" Hey what's the big deal?" asked a man in his mid-twenties. His black her was spiky from jell and he had in a nose ring.

" First of all who are you to speak to us in such a way, kid." said Dwight.

" I'm subbing in for the other guy he's home sick. And it's Howl not kid."

"Howl?" asked Michael his lip quivering.

"Yeah."

Then he and Dwight burst out laughing.

" Hey, what the hell?"

" Nice name was your father the wolf man." joked Michael trying not to laugh.

" Better than your names I bet. Let me guess. Dumb and Dumber."

" Actually _Howl,_it's Dwight K. Schrute to you."

"And Michael Scott."

" Were did you get those names the 19th century?"

" Hey you, Dwight is a wonderful name to have. I was named after my father and his father and his father and his father." said Dwight

"Which leads back to the 19th century."

Michael and Dwight turned around and Dwight said to Michael softly, " Plan B."


End file.
